The Prevalence of Hidden Fees

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So not long ago, I saw an ad for a company. They came on and they started talking about the fact that, hey, listen, no hidden fees. I mean, have you heard that before? Have you listened have you ever gotten a bill for something and you couldn't believe the stuff that was in there? Don't get me started on hospital bills. Have you been there before? Don't get me started on insurance. Don't get me started on some of the. I mean, you guys know the cell phone, the things that we have to pay for are remarkable. And the hidden fees is a really big deal. And so the fact that they can market based on no hidden fees, and we all go, that's something worth looking at. That should tell you about how prevalent hidden fees are in different parts of our lives. And let's be really honest sports, extracurricular activities, the hidden fees are all over the place in those areas too. There's not a single sport that you could play. Baseball, volleyball, basketball, football, tennis, golf, all of them have cost associated with them. But while we're often aware of the cost that we need to pay attention to, maybe the bigger issue that we often just completely overlook is some of the other things that come on the backside that we would say later, I never would have seen that coming. I never would have seen the fact that the siblings would be so affected by us playing the sport. I never would have seen the fact that my marriage would have been so affected by this. I never would have seen my health. The kids aren't sleeping. They're up until midnight. We get home after midnight from tournaments sometimes, and then they have to be up at the fields at eight in the morning. So we see that there are all kinds of things that we may or may not have been able to plan for. And so when we look at the idea of playing travel ball, playing a sport, doing any of those types of activities, we need to really focus in on the cost and the hidden cost. Hey guys, thanks for listening today. My name is Coach Jim. And today what we're going to do is we're going to try to take a good look at the hidden cost of sports and some of the things that we may not have thought about, but that we really need to do a good job of judging whether a sport is going to be a good idea for our family or not.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Welcome to Coach Dad, the show for dads, coaches, and sports families trying to lead better at home, in the stands, and on the field. Here's your host, Jim Miller.

Understanding the True Costs of Sports

SPEAKER_01 2:37

So anytime we're trying to budget for something, we have to make a couple decisions about what we're trying to do, right? One is how much are we in we it's easy for me to say. One thing we're trying to look at is how much are we willing, how much are we willing to spend, right? How much are we willing to spend? But maybe a better question that we could ask is what is this going to cost us? Because how much are we willing to spend really focuses only on one aspect of it, and that's the financial side. So we're going to look at things like equipment. We're going to look at things like gas money, maybe hotel hotels, depending on what kind of baseball, football, basketball we're playing. Is there going to be travel involved? There's also going to be times that we're eating out because we're not able to stay at home and make meals. And so we've got to look at the additional food cost. We're going to look at health concerns, like we talked about the lack of sleep, or potentially looking at the idea that eating out is just not generally as healthy as it is if we were to eat at home. A home cooked meal is going to be better for you most of the time. And so there are a lot of costs that are associated with it that we need to look at. And we want to try to get a budget of what are we going to financially spend, but then emotionally, what are we going to spending also? There's with every sport, there is success and failure. And the fact is that your kid may be the best player on the team, but even if they're the best, they're still going to fail sometimes. And so there's going to be an emotional component. And you as a parent are going to have to deal with that too. And don't get me, let's be honest. There are times when the husband and the wife, the mom and the dad are going to come together and we're not going to meet in the middle about what we're trying to get out of this or how we want to handle a certain situation, or whether the coach is a good dude or a bad dude or a good coach or a bad coach. All of these are going to be emotional turmoil that we're trying to battle through. And so as we go into this, let's look at the emotional side of it. Let's also look at the relational side. Anytime you've got friction between you and your kids, anytime there's a tension there, there's a relational part that we're being thrown into as well. So you get the financial, the time cost, emotional cost, relational cost, and then there's also going to be a lifestyle cost. When we go into playing a sport, we are buying into a lifestyle of what we're going to do. We have said yes to something that is very often going to dictate where we go, how we spend our money, what kinds of things that we're able to do at certain times. If you're practicing three days a week, then guess what? There's three evenings a week that you are not able to do other stuff that maybe your family normally would like to do. There are a lot of families that have a family routine. Yeah, every Friday night we like to go out and have a nice family meal. Well, if you're playing in a tournament on Friday night, then guess what you're not doing? You're not hanging out, having a good time as a family. You're not going to a movie on Friday night because now, instead of going to the movie theater, now you're going to a tournament. So what is the cost in our lifestyle? There may also be a spiritual cost. A lot of families make church a priority. A lot of families make going to a house of worship a priority. But maybe you're looking at a team that's going to be playing on a Sunday. You're not going to be able to do that. You're going to have to make a decision about whether we're going to go play on the team or whether we're going to go to the house of worship on Sunday. And so, since we can't do both, if we've made a commitment to the team, then are we going against that commitment with our team by going to church? Are we letting our team down by going to church on Sunday? And if so, that's something we got to work through with the coach and with the other players. Just to let them know, hey, we're not going to be there on Sunday morning because church is a priority for us. That's fantastic. Let's make sure everybody's on board that we're all on the same page there. Let's make sure we have those conversations. Okay. So family has a financial cost, an emotional cost, relational cost, lifestyle cost, a spiritual cost. All of these are different costs that we have to look at and say, again, not how much am I willing to spend, but what is this going to cost me if I say yes to this? What will this cost me if I say yes? So

Evaluating Decision-Making in Sports Participation

SPEAKER_01 7:29

some things we do, some reasons that we would make decisions that might not be the best reason to make a decision, right? I mean, there are good reasons for decisions and there are bad reasons for decisions. And each family is going to be different and unique and individual. I understand that. But a lot of times we kind of believe, begin to believe a lie about why it is that we should do certain things. One, if you think that you have to do something because this is just what serious families do, erase that from your database. That is not a good reason to make a decision. You may find yourself in a position that you really didn't want to be because you believed something that really wasn't ultimately true. Okay. A lot of people might believe that they have to play at a certain level of travel ball, AAU, a select team, whatever the verbiage is that they're using in your area. You might think that if we don't do this, then our kid is going to fall behind. A lot of people would say, well, everybody else we know is doing this very thing. I actually heard somebody just say this to me just the other day. Oh man, everybody we know is going to go try out for this team. And I mean, I didn't say this, but in my mind, I'm thinking to myself, I could probably name a hundred people that aren't sending their kids to go do that. So, but even if they are, why is that gonna make the decision for you to go and try out there? It doesn't, one thing does not add up and lead to the other. And then finally, to be able to say, well, this is just how we invest in our child's future is by doing this. This is the way that we invest in their future. When truth be told, there are a lot of different things you can do to invest in their future. Maybe just private lessons once a week would be a better way to do it. A lot of times we get in these situations because we feel like travel ball, AAU, select. These organizations are great ways to develop your player. And we forget the idea that, well, actually, in most of those types of organizations, what they do at practice is they work on team things, team defense, team fundamentals. In baseball, those, those would be things like first and third situations. Those would be things like bunt coverages. That would be things like cutoffs and relays. In football, you might be talking about how to stop the run, run defense, right? Or how to what kinds of plays we're gonna run off fourth down. Okay, potentially our punt coverages. How are we gonna cover punts? All right. What are those, what are those types of conversations that we're having? Most of your team practices will be focused on team types of things. I know there are exceptions. I would love exceptions. Thank you for exceptions. And I know there are a lot of teams that do a great job of developing players. But if you're thinking to yourself that we need to be on this team or do this thing because it's going to develop our individual, most of those teams at high levels expect to have a couple practices a week and then they expect you to go get private lessons on the side. Now, while this may work for everybody, it may not work for you and for your family. Just know going in that there's a lot of development of the individual that is not gonna happen in these types of places. And so if you want the individual player to work, then the best way to improve for that player is to have that individual practice individually with something like a private lesson. They're gonna get one-on-one focused attention that's gonna help them to accelerate their growth one-on-one. So maybe you're better off playing little league and having practice once a week that you go do a private lesson. So you're gonna practice once or twice a week in little league and get one or two lessons a week so that your child is getting that individual focus and the team focus on the other side. Maybe I can't say 100%. I don't know, I can't speak to every situation, but just don't go in blindly assuming this is what's gonna happen in this type of a situation. Know that there may be exceptions to the rule, and you want to make sure with every organization that you're looking at that you figure out what that baseline is and what the expectations will be so that you know what the cost is gonna be for you and your

Practical Tools for Cost Assessment

SPEAKER_01 12:14

family. So there's two practical tools that I want us to talk through today. Okay. One of them is gonna be what I call the five whys, and I call it the five whys because I didn't come up with it on my own. Somebody else called it the five whys, and then I stole it from them. And then the second one is gonna be something we call the Coach Dad Total Cost Audit. Okay. This is gonna be a resource that we have available for you to download for free. Man, I hope this doesn't feel like a trip to your CPA, by the way. This can be something that you can download for free just to help you think through different scenarios, different situations, and different parts of what we're looking at so that you can make a wise and informed decision on all sides. And by the way, this costs you zero. So please don't feel like I'm gonna make you buy this and then this is gonna be another cost for you. This is just something, so at the very least, you will waste 20 minutes with this, or this could really save you a lot. So, in my estimation, it's a good idea for you to go download this for free, get this printed out, and sit down with you, you, your spouse, your kids, your family, the mom, dad, everybody work through this and figure out if this is gonna help you make good decisions, good informed decisions about whether this sport, this decision is a good one for you. So, some things you're gonna write down money spent, time spent, cost for your family, siblings, what the siblings are gonna deal with, emotional cost, spiritual cost, lifestyle cost, convenience cost, right? All of these are things that I want you to consider and think through before you make that final decision about whether this is gonna be a good fit for you and your family. So that's the total cost audit, but I I also want to talk to you about the five whys. And here's

The Five Whys Exercise

SPEAKER_01 14:03

this is an exercise that we did years ago that really helped us to clarify a few things in our life. And I want to pass this on to you. But I want you to think and I want you to ask yourself the question: why is it that we would like to play this season in this particular way? Why is it that we want to do that? Okay. And then when you come up with that answer, I want you to consider then asking yourself another layer of why. So here's here's an example, okay? So why is it that we want our son to play on this team?

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Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

You might say something like, Well, we want our son to play on this team because we will we want to give our son the best chance at success at the next level. And then I would ask you, okay, good, why do you want to give your son the best chance of success at the next level? And then after you answer that question, ask it again. Why do we want that? And then why do we want that? And at the fifth level of that why, we really start to dig into the heart of the matter. And you may realize that the why is because I never got a chance to play there. Or maybe the why is, well, because my kid really needs something that they can be successful at. Or maybe there's a different why that you're trying to search for. But I really want to encourage you to dig that five levels of why and to see what it is that you're trying to come up with and what the purpose is for the reason that you're doing this ultimately. So let's talk about a couple of guardrails that you could put in place to help make sure that the decision is a good one for your family. Okay. One, make a good decision about why it is that you're playing the sport this season. Okay, go through that five Ys exercise. Make sure that it's a healthy decision, that you're doing it for the right reasons. Okay. Make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Two, budget ahead financially. Figure out what the costs are gonna be. Money's tight for a lot of people this season. And so we want to make sure that we are not gonna be stretched and that finances are not gonna be a big concern for us that we're really worried about as the season goes on. I hate hearing people say, yeah, we had to put, you know, we ended up having to put hotels or flights on credit cards and just pay them off over the next few months. That's that's I'm not saying that's a bad decision, but it really puts you in a tough place if those are the kinds of decisions that you're making. Just know going in that this is what we're looking at, potentially having to do. Don't just make those decisions on the whim. Make sure that you do a good job of protecting one family rhythm. Okay. Figure out something that's really important to your family and find ways to really guard that, whether it's a family night, whether it's a Sabbath that you have weekly, whether it's a day that you you like to go and volunteer somewhere as a family. And whether it's things that you like to do for, you know, getting together with another family that you're you're good friends with, there's a rhythm that you need to guard to make sure that your life does not, that you're not giving up too big of a chunk of who you are as a family in order to join and play this sport. Make sure you guard one of those rhythms. I mean, let's be honest. Sometimes ultimately, let's ask the kids if this is really what they want, if this is really what they're looking for, is this, and make sure that they understand some of the concerns that you have physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally, okay, and all the concerns that are gonna be carried along with that. Make sure that the kid is part of that conversation because you may find out the kid is just gonna say, you know what, I'd I'd rather actually, I'd rather play Little League, or I'd rather just, you know, go play pickleball once a week up at the, you know, up with our friends. Maybe those are the things that they would rather do. And the only way we're gonna know is if we ask and get them involved in that conversation.

Stewardship and Family Priorities

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Ultimately, we have to recognize that stewardship is less about how we spend money and more about how we cherish the things that we have. What is the way that we treat our family, our kids, our spouse? Are we going to do that in a way that is honoring to the commitments we've made, our spouse and our kids and to our Lord? Is it, are we going to honor those types of commitments? Are we going to steward them well? Not just are we spending our money the right way, but are we stewarding these things well? Because that is ultimately a way bigger calling. If this season of our life does not lead to our kids becoming better people and adults down the road, it's not worth the cost. It's not worth it for them to, for us to not be able to develop them in a way that we really should be doing a good job of. So let's make sure that we're keeping first thing first, and then everything else is going to fall in its place correctly. So

Total Cost Audit

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before you say yes to the next season, the next tournament, the next team, the next opportunity that comes your way, I just really want to encourage you to reach out and grab this CoachDad Total Audit, okay, the total cost audit. It's free. Like I said, you can just come and grab it off of our website at coachdad.liveslash audit. Coachdad. You'll be able to find it there. Just grab this free resource, take a few minutes to look at it and see if this is something that's going to be a benefit to you and to your family. Hey, thank you so much for sticking with me all the way through this. I know it always feels like anytime I talk about these types of things, I want to make sure it doesn't feel like we're pulling teeth out. Okay. But I really appreciate you guys and I love you guys. I love what you're doing and how much you want to honor your kids through this whole process because we have to remember that the mission is bigger than the game, and it starts at home.

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